108139

Joke of the Day

"I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game."

"Confucius says... ""He who goes to bed with an itchy butt, wakes up with chicken fingers!"""

"If Edgar Allen Poe didn't have a cat named Poepurry, then I question him as a writer."

"Why are E.T.'s eyes so big? He saw the phone bill."

"Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged? Because cowboys always eat with their hats on."

"The chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was to chicken."

"What do you get when you have a blonde do a handstand? A brunette with bad breath."

"I've been drinking my urine for years, but NASA still refuses to let me be an astronaut. ""There's more to it than that"" they say. Whatever."

"Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart."

"Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions."