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Joke of the Day
"If Anderson Cooper shows up in your country you're fucked. He's pretty much the Angel of Death."
Next Joke
"[Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats"
"What does your mom and Pac-man have in common? She eats balls all day. WOKA WOKA WOKA WOKA!!!!!"
"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."
"One day, someone will call me sir without adding ""I think we're going to have to ask you to leave."""
"Interviewer: Can we call your former employer for a reference? Me: Not if you're considering me for the job."
"You know who else has a naughty list? HR"
"How I Crossed the Desert by Rhoda Camul"
"Show your neighbor they shouldn't park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal."
"today I went for a run & a homeless guy was like WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM & I was like EVERYTHING"