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Joke of the Day

"What is sharper, your butt-hole or your teeth? Butt-hole, because it can cut your shit."

"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines Until your mother jumped on one back in 87"

"I can't wait for MTV's next reality show about car wash employees that hold in farts until they're cleaning the inside of your car."

"John Boehner killed a bug at the state for the union address It was a House fly."

"Scented toilet paper girlfriend: is this toilet paper scented? Me: I'm not sure; my asshole doesn't smell so good"

"My poetic look on the election Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Damn it, America! What the fuck did you do?!"

"A son asks his father, ""Dad, what does gay mean?"". ""Son, gay means happy"", the father replies. ""Dad, are you gay?"" ""No, son, I'm married to your mother"""

"I tried throwing away my old boomerang but it keeps coming back"

"The West Coast is so last year"

"My OCD requires me to slit the throats of people who sing Christmas songs to themselves out loud in quiet workplaces. The Cops understand."