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Joke of the Day
"[during sex] him: Im so sorry. This literally never happens [takes out telescope to watch comet]"
Next Joke
"I have the Emergency Alert Warning sound set as the ringtone for when my wife calls."
"After a thorough diagnosis, my doctor couldn't figure out the cause of my uncontrolled flatulence... When I asked him what the problem was, he told me ""Your gas is as good as mine."""
"why didn't jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato."
"I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet."
"Why would a needle even be in a haystack? Who sews in a barn?"
"Barber: Your hair is getting grey Sir. Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up will you?"
"What do you get if you combine a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper."
"What do you call a man that as sex with his 9 year old wife? The holiest Prophet of Islam."
"Toilet humor So I visited the bathroom this morning and said hey toilet how was your Christmas? Toilet replied probably better than yours, I wasn't visited by a bunch of arses!"