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Joke of the Day

"My Iraqi friend skyped me today Something hilarious must've been happening because I kept hearing ""Hahahahallahu hahahkbar"" and then what sounded like party poppers. Abdul sure is a mad one."

"Strategy du jour for combating 5 & 7yo's over-competitiveness: ""First person to say it's a race loses."""

"Do headphones just tie themselves in knots while we're not looking?"

"For their honeymoon, Mr. Sine and his missus Cosine Went to the beach and got a Tan. When they went back home, it took a Sec to find they needed a Cot."

"Simba was walking too slow... So I told him to Mufasa."

"2000s kids wont get this. Y2K"

"Been watching Sharknado. When did Tara Reid turn 60??"

"I bought my wife a dildo and a book for her birthday.. If she doesn't like the book she can go fuck herself."

"Hi, what's your name? My name is Yura Phag"

"I made a huge mistake I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years."