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Joke of the Day

"People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie."

"Wanna Hear A Joke? Hufflepuff."

"If the tongue is a muscle I want your pussy to be my gym"

"Why didn't the people in the movie Armageddon just hold up a big sheet of paper when the meteor was coming? Paper beats rock..."

"Describe yourself in three words... Lazy."

"I wonder what chairs think about all day... Oh, here comes another asshole."

"""New Racy Miley Cyrus Photos Leaked."" If you really want to shock us, leak some photos where she's reading a book."

"How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu? One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment"

"When life gets hard you have to grasp it. When it comes you have to take it on the chin."

"I went to an Easter Egg hunt without a permit... ...They caught me poaching eggs."