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Joke of the Day
"What does a food lover do when they try a new food? They CURIOUSLY MASTERCATE."
Next Joke
"HILLARY: donald-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: ...trump-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: [smiling serenely] ...is good TRUMP: --wrong. nno wait. nno. no, no"
"It's like the women in this bar don't know how close I am to getting my own apartment."
"It was a rainy day in California..."
"I can't believe it. I saw on the news where a midget got pick pocketed in broad daylight...how could anyone stoop so low?"
"My girlfriend is such a procrastinator She never finishes"
"Who were the shortest people in the Bible? Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, ""Silver andgold I have none,"" and no one could be much shorter than that."
"Pregnancy tests make me wish peeing on things answered more questions."
"I'm living on the edge. I haven't backed up in weeks"
"Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me."