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Joke of the Day

"Just learned that New York's state bird is a guy apologizing for being late because of the trains while holding a brand new coffee."

"These Alt-Right people should Ctrl+Alt-Right+Delete themselves from American society, Am I right?!"

"Why won't anti vaxers ever win an election? All their supporters are home with sick kids"

"Skinny friend: Bananas are super high in sugar. Why would you eat them if you want to lose weight? Me: Good point. *Grabs Kit Kat"

"Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by."

"What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight? Can we just bury this?"

"Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn't that funny anyway."

"I'm just like Batman I have to get out of bed at night quite often."

"Why does a cucumber has a lot of seed? He has no hands."

"Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster with more energy!"