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Joke of the Day

"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house."

"You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home."

"What's the difference between your finger and a hammer? I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!"

"I've heard that imperial system has a lot of advantages. As a European, I only see fl oz."

"Dating is easy. You just *goes into fetal position*"

"My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers Girls Gone Wilde."

"I went to the doctors the other day. I said ""every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm!"" ""Have you been taking anything for it?"" He asked. ""Yeah, pepper"""

"Some of the best things in life...are mistakes."

"A gorilla walks into a bar Holy shit run!"

"A man just threw a glass of milk at me...... how dairy?!?! Shout out ATH"