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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. . A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday..."

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"Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read ""BEAR LEFT"" so they went home."
"Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy."
"You wanna know what made me realize I was Black As fuck I'm at the beach on a sunny day and to get a good pic I still needed the flash on"
"Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
"What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person? Leaving a plunger in the toilet."
"I am so lazy that when I dropped the soap in the shower, I just sat down & took a bath. That was 2 hours ago. I'm still here."
"ME: *pointing gun* Give me everything. WORKER: Sir, this is a pet shelter. ME: I know. *carried off into the sunset by a wave of animals*"
"What was Abraham Lincoln's seating preference? Not John Wilkes Booth!"
"Why don't Asians get constipated? Because of their frequent bow movements."