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Joke of the Day

"""27 Hilarious Ways You Know Journalism Is Dead"" - Journalism"

"It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive.. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse..."

"Guy at the Apple store suggested I turn off my phone once a week, so I slapped his face and ran out of the store crying."

"So, 50 Cent is accepting Bitcoin for his new album. Which is all well and good, but if he really wanted to court the cryptocurrency community, he should change his stage name to 0.0007745 ."

"If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in."

"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."

"What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees? A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)"

"Jeb bush uses a dangerous method to make a lasting change. jeb!"

"*at the confessional Priest: .'..and do you repent? Do you plan to repeat these sins?' Me: 'You mean, like, ever?'"

"During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless.. .. Girl: What the heck are you doing?? Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called ""buffering"""