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Joke of the Day

"Finally I found out how hashtags work #hashtag # hashtags #work #how #found"

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"Toyota's solution for sticky gas pedal - shorten driver's right leg"
"Titanium is a most amorous metal... When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything."
"I met a girl who's family is so loaded... even the bags under her eyes are designer"
"What did the Alabama State sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? The worst case of suicide he has ever seen."
"Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself? He was already suspended."
"Is it okay to joke about suicide? Or is it too much of a nooseance..."
"DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys"
"Hear about the blonde explorer? She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert."
"It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church."