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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally started this account when I was looking for a banana bread recipe and things have gone horribly wrong."

"One night stand I felt so bad about my one night stand. I think I'll buy another one for the other side of the bed."

"I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model."

"Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa? Because there's too many cheetahs!"

"If there is a God, he created balls and wanted them to look like that, so that's weird."

"I've upped my game so now instead of buying women at the bar drinks I buy them a pony"

"Did you guys hear that Lorena Bobbitt was recently involved in a traffic accident in L.A.? Apparently some prick cut her off."

"If you ever travel to Italy, you have to try their famous food called ""Pasta,"" which I believe is Italian for ""Pizza."""

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"What does a confused owl say? What? --- ^^^as ^^^enjoyed ^^^by ^^^/u/Traetus ^^^[here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2qws98/i_used_to_have_sex_daily/cnao23o?context=3)"