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Joke of the Day

"And The Bro saith unto them, Follow me to the club, and I will make you fishers of women. Bromans 4:19"

"Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?"

"I'm pretty sure our nanny's grandmother has died like seven times now......"

"Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach."

"How do you make a dog stop humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."

"those damn vegans still drinking water?!?! That's a fish's house, you nasty savages!!"

"It's like my golf instructor thinks I'm mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club."

"[end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*"

"I got mugged in college by a gang of Asians. Two of them held me down and a third corrected my math homework before fleeing into the night."

"Why won't cannibals eat Frank Sinatra? Because he's always coming back!"