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Joke of the Day

"I have diarrhea and constipation at the same time... basically, I cant shit... A LOT!"

"If you play jazz backwards, you get slightly better jazz."

"Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? A: It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in."

"Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years."

"*Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL"

"About the blind man that took up parachuting. He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't."

"I love the lines men use to get us into bed. ""Please I'll only put it in for a minute."" What am I a microwave?"

"TIFU by not adhering to reddit etiquette. I have a constant problem of posting on the wrong subreddit."

"Girlfriends are like screws... Except once you've loosened them, there's no way to tighten them back up."

"I love looking at oranges, they are just so appealing"