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Joke of the Day

"What's the most confusing day in a Mormon home? Mother's Day."

"Helen Keller walked into a bar And a table, and a chair"

"ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever."

"Wife: Did you pay the mortgage yet? Me: Do you think surfers in India are called Hindudes? Wife: What? Me: What? Communication is hard"

"I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming ""KITT!"" When he can't find his car."

"The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave."

"I didn't know what to wear the the premature ejaculators meeting... So I just came in my pants."

"Sarah Palin used ""refudiate"" in a sentence. I think she needs to studiate her vocabulade before she pontifitalks on the televade."

"Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up."

"Of course I don't hold grudges! I'm a woman, I carry them around in my designer purse everywhere I go."