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Joke of the Day

"Of course I don't hold grudges! I'm a woman, I carry them around in my designer purse everywhere I go."

"How do you make a dead baby float? Root Beer and 2 scoops of ice cream!"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Can't jelly my dick in your ass"

"Karen, if you can see this, the tupperware didn't come with the lasagna. The tupperware wasn't a gift"

"What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time? A widow"

"The Dominos ""tracker"" says Ashley just left with my pizza so I only have a few minutes to get naked. Just glad it's not Brad... ...again."

"My dad got fired from Cal Trans for stealing... We couldn't believe it. But when we got home, we saw all of the signs."

"Today a feminist asked me 'how I view lesbian relationships?' Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer.."

"Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds? I feel bad for the poor fella."

"Q: Did you hear about the Swedish guy who found God after rehab? A: He was a bjorn-again Christian."