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Joke of the Day

"So I saw a black man running with a TV. Horrified I thought it was mine. But upon arrival home I saw mine was in its right place. Polishing my shoes."

"Some people came to my door asking for donations to the local pool. So I went and poured them a glass of water."

"What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming? Bob."

"If Kanye West and Justin Beiber were drowning, and you only save one of them... What kind of a sandwich would you make?"

"What's yellow and can't swim A bus full of children"

"Math Problem Q: If the the radius of a pizza is *z* and its width is *a*, what is the pizza's volume? A: (pi)(z)(z)(a)"

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"""The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert"" - my 9 yr old daughter"

"Why do Americans spell it as 'color' and not 'colour'? Because fuck u that's why."

"Just made this up. What did one cannibal-rapist say to the other? ""Let's do lunch."""