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Joke of the Day

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, I'm giving you a blow job!"

"I know a teen girl who can only think of numbers that follow the pattern 1+2x where x is a real whole number She can't even..."

"What happens when you find bones on the moon? The cow didn't make it."

"I had to stop breeding rabbits... I found it to be a hare raising experience."

"If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?"

"They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts."

"*buys dog organic, free-range, non-nitrate chicken treats for $7.99, buys self Big Mac"

"Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment."

"Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops."

"No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense."