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Joke of the Day

"I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. What high hopes you have !"

"I like to sit and stare at the Chinese take out menu for an hour and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times."

"""No! Don't go into the church! Nooo!"" ""Honey, what movie are you watching?"" ""Our wedding video."""

"GF says my bike helmet looks ridiculous, but I'd rather be ""uncool"" than fall and crack my head open in the middle of having sex."

"Roe v Wade is my favorite bitter controversy about the best way to cross a small river."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"How do you get a guitar player to shut up? Put sheet music in front of him"

"Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill."

"In case you wondered what married life is like, my wife is yelling at me for making her forget why she was yelling at me."

"I don't trust people who keep their jackets on after they've arrived. That's what I do when I'm going to escape."