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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!"

"Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that's why we're getting a divorce and marrying you instead."

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"I believe if Floyd fought Ali ... I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's"

"A pretty face gets old, a nice body changes, but a good woman will always be a good woman."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney."

"George Michael is recording a song with all the proceeds going to end sectarian violence in the Middle East. It's call ""I Want Your Sects""."

"My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment"

"Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans take their wives to the football games? 'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass."

"I'm the first to review a series of roads that have no left turns ... ... it's alright."