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Joke of the Day

"Turns out, telemarketers don't like it when 5 year olds answer the phone and tell them princess Ariel stories."

"Oprah lost a fortune in the stock market. Don't worry, she gained it all back."

"Why was the peanut so salty? Because it got R O A S T E D"

"It's like squirrels don't even know how good they'd be at parkour."

"Panties ... ... are for pussies."

"Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !"

"I created a new word Plagiarism *just like 80% of the jokes on this page wink wink*"

"Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out, after the break."

"What is the shit you didn't see? The shit you stepped on"

"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, ""is the bar tender here?"""