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Joke of the Day

"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another women's lipstick on his knuckles."

"At my job I am forced to deal with more cunts than a gynecologist."

"Whats grey and comes in pints? Elephants"

"(confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does ""Single Ladies"" dance)"

"When a women says ""What?"" its not because she didn't hear you. She's just giving you a chance to change your answer"

"Jajajajajajaja is either a Mexican laughing or a German having sex."

"Why can you trust noone in the savannah? Cause they be lion."

"Wanna know why they burnt down the cvs pharmacy in Baltimore? They stopped selling newports..."

"[HR office] HR: you know why you're here, right? Me: HR: you can't ""contract"" Down's Syndrome & you can't call in sick with it"

"Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I Love My Grand-dog"" and I think l'm going to be ok."