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Joke of the Day

"Just once I'd like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult."

"The problem with being in the center of attention is that half of it is always behind your back."

"You're like school in the summertime - no class."

"The Amazing Spiderman was good but they didn't cover the part in his life where he co-founded Facebook...I assume that will be in the sequel..."

"It's great that banks are nice enough to charge fees for using machines created for the purpose of replacing paid employees."

"Doctor: You're obese. Patient: ***Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.***"

"Coin joke I walked into a music store with $50 I walked out with a Nickleback"

"I save a ton of money on teeth whitening by not smiling."

"*sees window washer in a harness outside office high rise* *holds up sign from desk* YOU'RE NOT EVEN FLYING EVERYONE CAN SEE THE STRINGS"

"My uncle Paul does great bird impressions, He eats worms."