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Joke of the Day

"I might invent a new beer, call it ""Occasionally"". When people ask if I drink, I can say I drink Occasionally' this way they won't think i'm an alcoholic."

"You know what happens when you put the toilet seat up? that's the joke"

"It appears that Jared Fogle has gain 30lbs since going to jail I guess that's what happens when you stop the child portions"

"I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire."

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"Auditions are being held for you to be yourself. Apply within."

"What did the letter "" O "" say to the letter "" Q "" ? Dudddeee.....your dicks out!"

"A dog limps into a bar and says... I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

"Why do penguins eat fish? Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them."

"What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? 10 after 1"