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Joke of the Day

"What does a homeless man gets for Christmas? A cold."

"Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. ""Like"" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man."

"DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth's equator, most of them would drown."

"Asked my girlfriend Shanon to tell me which fast food restaurant best describes my dick. She said Chick-fil-A, which was pretty clever, but the correct answer was Wendy's."

"What do you call it when a homosexual asks a question? A Query."

"Why is Hel great in bed? Because she can *switch stances* ( )"

"What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use? Sprint"

"Want to hear the corniest poop joke ever? No? Too late."