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Joke of the Day

"What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes."

"Love in 2013 means answering each other's texts immediately."

"What do they call Redditting on the toilet? Snoo on the loo"

"Subway is like prostitution... You pay someone else to do your wife's job!"

"My vaccume cleaner sucks because it doesn't suck... Unlike my other vaccume cleaner, which doesn't suck because it sucks. (co-writing credit to smarties pants u/lord_of_the_realm)"

"Jews rated their trip to Auschwitz: ##**They all gave it one star.**"

"What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs? An apology."

"afraid Alone in my room and and thinking someone is also there lol."

"To the man in the wheelchair at Walmart. You may have stole my camouflage jacket. But just remember, you can hide but you cannot run!"

"Why is the vagina also called pussy? Because, when the chick gets aroused, it gets all sticky, like it has pus in it. Get it? Pus-sy."