231615

Joke of the Day

"Man in fatigues w SONY written on his forehead has handcuffed me&my sons to radiator & is forcing us to watch 8th Spider-Man reboot in 3 yrs"

"What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong."

"Follow your dream, then Unfollow it if it doesn't Follow you back within 48 hours."

"I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft."

"WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh...sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit"

"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"

"What do you call a female Hitler? [This post has been deleted]"

"Why was the Ethiopian baby crying? It was having a mid-life crisis."

"I like my women as I like my classical regression model estimators: consistent, efficient, and fucking unbiased."

"How do you get 100 babies into a phone booth? with a blender. how do you get them out? with a straw."