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Joke of the Day
"What's something a kangaroo has that no other animal has? Baby kangaroos."
Next Joke
"I suck in my stomach when I weigh myself like my scale will be all ""oh she's much thinner than I thought, I'll adjust the numbers."""
"Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!"
"Ah, the great Rental Car Kabuki Dance: I turn down the coverage and prepaid gas, the clerk admonishes me for the folly of my ways."
"What would you name a prequel to a story about a man who doesn't age Personally I'm happy with 'The Picture of Ionian Gray'"
"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."
"Xanax: For Hispanic attacks."
"Why is sex like signing-on? Both involve a log-in."
"Apparently a guy named George Martin leaked all the main plot points of the next season of Game of Thrones in some books he published. Jerk."
"A nun goes to the greengrocer, asking for a cucumber. ""Get 2"" he says. ""So you have one to eat"""