231298

Joke of the Day

"Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it."

"You know what really breaks my heart? Cholesterol."

"What's the only animal that has a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"Why did the pirate have to change wenches? His old one wouldn't let him swab her poop deck."

"What do you get when you divide (Sin B) by (Tan B)? You get roofies, cuffs and a sore butthole"

"Whenever I lose a follower I assume they died and the family had the account removed, because hello! I'm amazing!!"

"THE ROOSTER ALSO CALLED A COCK LOVES THE KITTY WET THE CAT FALLS INTO A BUCKET OF WATER THE ROOSTER LAUGHS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS A COCK LIKES A WET PUSSY."

"70 year old man asked his wife... Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls? Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it."

"Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?"

"Either I just stepped in dog shit or the stench of my parent's disappointment has started following me around."