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Joke of the Day
"And the bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve time travelers here."" A man walks into a bar."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Shi Tzu giving a blowjob? Shit Head."
"What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed? A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry"
"*National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S."
"What's a feminist's favorite math class? Triggernometry."
"Why are pizza makers always poor? Because they knead dough to make a living."
"[walking on beach] [find bottle with message in it] Message: IS YOUR FRIDGE RUNNING? [another bottle with message washes against my feet]"
"Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like ""this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."""
"Intelligence always beats good looks. But just to be safe I've got both covered."
"Man: ""Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please"" Waitress: *slaps his face* ""The men I please are none of your damn business!"""