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Joke of the Day

"How many black people are needed to change a light bulb? One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops."

"A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his owner beats him."

"Looks like Trump is going to lose the presidency I guess his erection is going cost him the election"

"[my 1st day as spelling bee host] your word is policy ""can you use it in a sentence"" um i think hes an undercover cop, he looks a bit policy"

"Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail? To a re-tail store!"

"What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!"

"What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip? Recalculating route."

"So a horse walks into a bar... ...and the bartender asks, ""Hey buddy, why the long face?"" The horse looks up and responds, ""I'm out of the job! Sarah Jessica Parker started doing her own stunts."""

"A piece of toast and an egg walk in to a bar.... The bartender goes, ""Hey! Woah! Nuh uh. We don't service breakfast here!"""

"My girlfriend asked me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" And I answered: ""Of course! I'd miss you, but I still love you"""