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Joke of the Day

"[my 1st day as spelling bee host] your word is policy ""can you use it in a sentence"" um i think hes an undercover cop, he looks a bit policy"

"I started a company.. ...with my wife. Then my sister in law joined us, now it's a crowd."

"Saw an attractive Muslim girl the other day.... ""Was she sunni?"" ""Nah, shi-ite"""

"Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention? Cause William Shatner Coffee. hahahha"

"Name one thing Taylor Swift doesn't have in her purse Her boyfriend's phone number"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force"

"A double whammy What's black on the bottom and white on top? Apartheid America. What's white on the bottom and black on top? A prison shower."

"They say people and their pets start to look alike, which is why George Clooney is now tied to a tree in my backyard."

"Marries a mime. Lives quietly ever after."