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Joke of the Day

"[my 1st day as spelling bee host] your word is policy ""can you use it in a sentence"" um i think hes an undercover cop, he looks a bit policy"

"Why is Jupiter both the favourite and most hated planet for Jews? Favourite because **Jew**piter is the biggest planet in the solar system Hated because it's a gas planet"

"Did you hear about the new Jewish car? It stops on a dime and then picks it up."

"""A car I've never seen before just parked outside. We're gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you're not listening to me I said..."" - Dogs"

"They say being gay isn't a choice but i *chose* to blow those dudes"

"It's great that banks are nice enough to charge fees for using machines created for the purpose of replacing paid employees."

"My dog had a tick once, Someone recommended i try the ""lighter fluid and match"" trick, it definitely worked as my dog never got a tick again. But man, I sure do miss my dog."

"Can we all stop pretending that alcohol tastes good?"

"I don't have ADD. It's just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done."

"Girl, are you an iron-bearing ore? Because when I smelt you, I got taken to a whole other level of civilization.."