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Joke of the Day

"What do the African nations Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zambia, and Swaziland have in common? A lot of da Z's."

"Ever been so completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid."

"Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say ""You haven't seen The Wire?"" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying."

"Honeymooners (II) Her friend asked how the honeymoon went. ""OK,"" she said. ""Though Niagara Falls wasn't as big as I hoped, either."""

"If I hear people screaming, I always go check on them. Not because I'm nosy or some kind of hero. There might be ice cream."

"Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem."

"Upon what does a jungle cat write a letter? A cheetah paper."

"I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs. I had no idea how to pronounce her name."

"What do you call a Black Man on the Moon? An Astronaut."

"Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life."