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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the guy who wrote the Friends theme song committed suicide? No one told him life was gonna be this way."

"""I guess we should make them sound like a space shuttle is taking off during an a-bomb explosion."" -person who invented hand dryers"

"Well, you won't get called a racist for criticizing the President anymore... ...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him."

"This is a long one but here goes... Knock Knock"

"What do you call a doctor who eats his vegetables. A cannibal."

"I bought a little boy kitten yesterday, I named him F14. However he's really straggly... ...So unfortunately today I've had to spend all day today Grumman my Tomcat. Thank you, thank you."

"One my 12-year-old cousin told me What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? Children don't eat broccoli."

"Life is one long earthquake for those tiny dogs who are always shaking."

"Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine."

"Now that I've removed my windshield wipers I shouldn't be getting anymore parking tickets."