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Joke of the Day

"I bought a little boy kitten yesterday, I named him F14. However he's really straggly... ...So unfortunately today I've had to spend all day today Grumman my Tomcat. Thank you, thank you."

"You could call today ""Christmas Adam"" Because Adam came before Eve."

"My dick is like news... ...because it passes from mouth to mouth."

"""sir can you describe the stingray that attacked you?"" yes it was like a weird pancake"

"Easy way to have a relationship: 1. Buy a ship 2. Name it 'Relation' 3. ??? 4. PROFIT"

"whats 72?? Q: What's 72? A: 69 with three people watching."

"Ordered ribs so I'd have to put my phone down. Discovered new talent. Pinky scroll"

"I hope you won't mind if I stare toward your house at dusk in an expressionless porcelain mask."

"I went to the hairdresser and she asked how I'd like my hair cut. In silence."

"Did you hear about the guy who used the door knocker? He won a no bell prize. I'm sorry if this is a repost. I searched but couldn't find anything close."