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Joke of the Day

"What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool? CANNIBAL!!!"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."

"This may be a bit messed up. If you eat one thing a lot, people tend to joke that you'll ""become it"". I used to eat vegetables. Guess what I became."

"Bill Gates went into an Apple store... Farted, and stank up the whole place. But it's their fault for not having Windows."

"I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I'm still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it."

"Is that a Higgs boson in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's ""sexy"" and ""art"" But when I do it I'm ""drunk"" and need to ""get out of Home Depot"""

"What's a difference between a oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid."

"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""