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Joke of the Day

"""Pika pika pika!"" [translated] ""I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."""

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""

"My doctor told me I had to quit masturbating Turns out it was because he was trying to examine me"

"Every 9 minutes, someone is infected with the herpes virus. I bet that someone lives in Jersey."

"""But mom! I don't like grandma."" ""Keep quiet, son, and finish your plate."""

"Q: who was the world's first carpenter? A: Eve, she made Adam's banana stand!"

"I don't consider it a good night out if it doesn't end up as a super villain's origin story"

"I'm devastated. My pet rat Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap"

"A 3-year old boy A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet,' she replied."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor."