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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a polar bear in the water? First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!"

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopuss!"

"which part of the centaur carries the centaur babies is it the lady torso or the horse torso and why can't I stop thinking about this"

"What do you call a flatulent teacher? A tutor"

"I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour."

"I'll always remember my dad's last words on his death bed: 'Son, what are you doing with that pillow?'"

"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."

"I was raised half Jewish and half Catholic. When I'd go to confession, I'd say ""Bless me, father, for I have sinned and you know my attorney, Mr.Cohen."""

"I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself."

"How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time."