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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth."

"What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano? He said ""Darling you've got lovely teeth."""

"My wife ran off with my next door neighbour.. I sure do miss him."

"Bought a jug of detergent that said it will clean 126 loads. ...So why, after 3 washes, do my sheets still glow under the black light?"

"I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly."

"What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg? Limp Biscuit"

"My friend just told me this joke: ""Knock knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""Chicken"" ""Chicken who?"" ""TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!"""

"An unfortunate blind date. that's the last blind date I go on. She turned up. hit me with her cane then her dog bit me. It was like she couldn't even see."

"Yo mama is so old. Yo mama is so old that in her history class they just wrote down what they where doing."

"Most of my tweets have been coming from a very dark place lately. That's what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill"