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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says ""If an emergency, notify:"" I put ""DOCTOR"". What's my mother going to do?"

"The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop. The steaks were high."

"Elton John just launched a women's lingerie line.. ""And you can tell everybody this is your thong"""

"I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat."

"Germans - they're great people, if you give them their dues. (Hint: say it out loud.)"

"How to Talk to Women Who Are Inside an MRI Tube"

"What do you call a sweaty British Millionaire? All-quid."

"The past, the present, and the future... The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar together. It was tense."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 6mths, I don't like to interrupt her."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. . . . . .and orders a beer. When he finishes is, the barkeep asks ""Have another?"" Descartes replies ""I think not."" . . .and POOF. He vanishes."