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Joke of the Day

"My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts, but there is no interest."

"Why didn't Hitler drink? Because it made him mean"

"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Why did the arena get hot after the game? All of the fans left"

"A Muslim goes onto a plane ride I forgot the punchline but i'm pretty sure it ended with a bang."

"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."

"We broke up, but she said we could still be cousins. Merica."

"Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out."

"What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow? E=MC U L8R"