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Joke of the Day

"Why can you not hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent."

"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."

"What is the preferred drink for people in St. Cloud? Mini Soda"

"Why don't little girls fart? They don't get assholes until they're married! (My favorite joke to tell to un-piss off a pissed off woman after I've pissed her off with a woman joke)"

"Success... Is like being pregnant. Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you got fucked."

"I asked my masseuse if it was unusual to get an erection during a massage... the masseuse replied, ""not at all it happens all the time."" So i said, ""well do you mind keeping it out of my face."""

"Are you pudgey? Cause you have me hooked!"

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with the light on."

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack? Beans on post!"

"New study shows women who sleep more have better sex in average. Unfortunately the study was conducted by Bill Cosby, so the results may be a bit skewed."