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Joke of the Day
"I was gonna make a chemistry joke... But all the good ones Argon."
Next Joke
"What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea? Bouncing on a buoy (boy)"
"(Works better spoken) The seaman was asked what he was doing when he got out. He said when he got discharged he'd be buried in pussy."
"Step 1: Have Android phone - Step 2: Say ""Ok Google, what are people from Phoenix called?"" You're welcome"
"Did you hear about the guy who tied to put his package into tried to put his package into the mail box? He thought it was a fe-mail box"
"Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere"
"Did you hear about the Indian guy who opened up a grocery store? He called I New Deli."
"My wife and I are expecting a child and I hope someone grabs her arm in public to talk about the baby. That way I can say, ""Hey! Leggo of my preggo!"""
"Elliott Smith... Wouldn't know heartache if it stabbed him in the chest."
"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"