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Joke of the Day
"Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere"
Next Joke
"My wife can't cook so she asked me for help in baking a cake. I told her to separate 2 eggs... She put one in the bedroom and one in the bathroom.. Ijit."
"All these what? Whenever a Jamaican women talks about ""all these terrible shootings"" I'm never sure if they mean gun violence, or footwear accessories."
"words are just a big scam. they all just mean other words. so you keep on using even more and more words. that's how they get you."
"I see your IQ test came back negative"
"What do you call a phobia of chainsaws? Common sense"
"Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark."
"Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor."
"My therapist said I need to find a new hobby. Besides pissing off therapists."
"I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard."