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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you cross an American and a polar bear. Same as before, lazy and fat."
Next Joke
"In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can."
"FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building"
"Squirrels are just rats who blow dry their tails."
"Ok doc, give it to me straight. ""It's cancer"" How bad? ""Really bad, you have 2 months."" OMG ""APRIL FOOLS!"" Whew- ""You have 2 days."""
"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."
"-""What should we call our band?"" -Ponies! -Dude, we're a heavy metal band. -Satanic ponies!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss a brie. I cheddar the world and the feta cheese."
"My 17yo pretends he doesn't understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you're finally a man"
"How do you determine the personality of a hot dog? Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test"