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Joke of the Day
"What did the father say before he killed his child with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson"
Next Joke
"It's all fun and games until you realize you're the girl at work known as ""how is she still employed."""
"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."
"Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault"
"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself."
"Mos Def I always thought that Mos Def had the most deft hands"
"Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write ""tip jar"" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back."
"So two fish are in a tank... One fish turns to the other fish and says ""Alright, you drive. I'll man the gun!"" Get it? Because they're in a *tank*."
"Osama Bon Jovi"
"Whats the best thing about being a meth addict? Only two more sleeps until christmas."