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Joke of the Day

"Finally, after years of waiting, my book on having sex with herbs has been published. Its about fucking thyme."

"Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ."

"What did the doctor say to the rude patient who was reluctant to get stitches from him? ""Fine, suture yourself."""

"Which way will it fall? If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land? Roosters don't lay eggs"

"What did the bat say to the other bat when he almost flew into a tree? Whoa did you hear that?"

"I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like ""Let's name it Rad!"" and one guy was all ""Let's dial that back a bit."""

"With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?"

"My neighbor seriously just asked me, ""Does Canada have 4th of July?"" I said ""No, they skip from the 3rd to the 5th, eh? I need to move."

"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."

"Silly Boy Boy: where are you going now? Girl: For suicide.. Boy: Then, why so much make-up? Girl: You idiot.... Tomorrow my photo will come in Newspaper..!!"