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Joke of the Day

"Finally, after years of waiting, my book on having sex with herbs has been published. Its about fucking thyme."

"What does a cobra say to his friends after he kills a mongoose? ""I wasn't scared at all. Without you, I wouldn't even know what a quiver is."""

"[finally rich enough to go to a tailor] ""How can I help you sir?"" One clothes please!"

"If you got tired of living, don't share your thoughts with all your friends they might not give you a chance to change your mind..."

"What's the best thing about twenty nine year olds? There's 20 of them"

"My friends joke he made up!! Why can you ask a NewZealander how many sexual partners they have had? Because he would fall asleep counting all the sheep. (Btw we are Australian sooo)"

"Hey dude, want some sodium hypobromite? NaBrO, I'm good."

"Sorry, but your kids don't look adorable when they lose their teeth, they look like tiny homeless people."

"Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie director? Sizzle B. DeMille!"

"A fish that goes against the current Dies electrocuted"