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Joke of the Day

"when asked about the future of artificial intelligence.... some people say it will be a catastrophic cataclysmic calamity.... and some people say that's what she said."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I know he means well..."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector"

"What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over? *Car*ma"

"the worst part of this guy catching me masturbating to a Highlights magazine is looking him in the eye for an hour while he cleans my teeth."

"Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that."

"My wife recently started snoring, so I decided to use earplugs. but I can only get one in before she wakes up, turns out she doesn't like it when I shove earplugs in her nose."

"I wish my phone would stop correcting omg' to OMG', I'm not that shocked."

"They say you can't tell a funny joke about terrorism, but you can. It's all in the execution."

"Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a super creepy movie."