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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two gay guys who look different but sound the same? Homophones."

"SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]"

"Ask your Doctor if Adderall can help you vigorously scrub your floors and alphabetize your clothing instead of studying."

"I read a story about a guy who cried while pleasuring himself. It was a real tear jerker."

"Guaranteed best way way for anyone to catch a Bird.(pour salt on it) Because If you pour salt on it, your close enough to just pick it up."

"Me: Gonna go see Gym. Friend: You mean go to the gym? Me: No, Gym is Geoff's brother."

"How many Police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"If Sam McCringle can mingle with a single bag of Pringles in the time it takes to sing a single jingle, with how many Pringles did Sam McCringle mingle? none... Pringles come in cans"

"How do you know your fridge is going through menopause? It's all out of eggs.."

"I wanna see some BUTTS on da dance floor! ONLY butts. Detached from their owners, just kinda in a pile. In the middle. Nice. Good butt pile."